T1D Humor

I've posted stuff like this before, but it never fails to be funny or hit a little too close to home not to laugh!  Humor helps keep us sane!


You know you're the parent of a child with diabetes when ... 


1. Everyone in the family says they are "low" instead of hungry! 
2. Your co-workers play "Guess How Many Carbs Are In This Food" with you at lunch and you are always right! 
3. You have a car that displays the miles remaining before it runs out of gas, and not only do you always think of that number in terms of a blood sugar, but any time it ticks down to 50, at least two people in the car shout "The car is low! It needs glucose!" I just wish my daughter had a little yellow warning light on her forehead too. 
4. Your "D" child gets more birthday cards from his pump company than from his own family! 
5. Your child gets his driver's learning permit and you have tubes of glucose gel in your car instead of your sunglasses but you smile because he has come such a long way. 
6. You're awakened at 6 a.m. by your teenager asking the dreaded question, "What's the number for Minimed?" and you can answer without even opening your eyes -- then a few minutes later you realize that something's not right and jump out of bed. 
7. You go through a drive-in at Dunkin' Donuts and see the sign that said "High Curb" and you start laughing because you think it said "HIGH CARB." 
8. You realize people are staring at you in the cleaning aisle after you pick up a new product and exclaim to your family, "Hey, I bet this would get the blood off the bedroom wall!" 
9. You are practicing spelling the word "S-I G-H-T" and your child asks if he should spell the "sight" with his eyes or the "site" on his butt. 
10. Your six year old runs to the bathroom yelling "I've got to go Type 2!" 
11. Everytime you prick or cut your finger all your children run for the meter -- you wouldn't what to waist ANY blood. 
12. Your husband names his internet gaming character "Lancet." 
13. Your child is playing a video game and when the "life force" level starts running out she says "Oh no! I'm low" and then starts laughing hysterically and says "I need glucose tablets!" 
14. You have been doing frequent night checks because your child has been running a fever and find yourself in the bathroom getting Children's Tylenol before you realize the 103 was on the glucose meter, not the digital thermometer. 
15. You are doing Madlibs with the kids and "pancreas" comes up as a body part, and "insulin pump" comes up as a noun. 
16. You buy bleach not based on brand preference, but on whether the bottle would make a good sharps container. 
17. Your daughter asks, "Can I get some ketchup to go with my test strips?" instead of her chicken strips. 
18. All three of your children request the "A1C Steak Sauce" at the dinner table. 
19. The makeup case you used to carry in your purse is replaced with an emergency diabetes kit for your child. 
20. Your child asks you if "water proof" means "toilet proof" in reference to the pump. 
21. You watch your teen push his peas and carrots onto his fork with his insulin pump instead of with another utensil. 
22. While driving in the car with your diabetic child, a radio show asks listeners to call in with the answer to the question, "What do parents most often say at their kids?" and your daughter answers, "Did you bolus?" 
23. Your two-year-old non diabetic says "me too" to get her blood checked and wears an old monitor around her waste in a pump pouch. 
24. Medical students come and ask YOU about pediatric endocrinology. 
25. For Halloween your child dresses up as a sharps box. 
26. Your endo is in your family picture. 
27. When your parents answer the phone, the first thing they say is "What's wrong?" 
28. Your six year old non D can spell "endocrinologist" 
29. Your non-diabetic 3 year old, with glucose monitor in hand, states that she's been thirsty all day, had at least 8 glasses of water, and thinks you should check her blood sugar. 
30. You stop calling them "sugar" and start calling them "Splenda."